I consider this moment of my life to be one of the busiest and yet, Im bombarded with much troubles and emotional conflicts. I am trying my best to jumble everything, paying careful attention to each so that I wont lose grip on any of them. I feel like 24 hours a day is not enough to get things done.

I should get used to this, but some things are just so bothersome that it drains the energy I have to give to things that matters most.

Im trying my best to resolve conflicts with a friend but I guess it just gotten worse. I guess I should have left it that way. I only added insult to the injury. At the end of it all, I am still unsuccessful in winning his heart back. Many people admire me for being always in control, the miss know-how, the strategy maker, a true compassionate leader but what they are not aware is that I am really a loser when it comes to my emotions…

Im a bit shaken as of the moment. I dont know how to react to what I have discovered. A close friend is shattering my emotions. I know she doesnt intentionally do it. She has been an angel to me all these time, always there when I need someone to comfort me. Shes been like a little sister to me. I love her so much that even if I have seen that this moment is coming, I cant still believe it has happened…

I always have visions of things to come, not because I am a psychic, but maybe because I learned to listen actively and weight peoples words, may it be spoken or acted, rather than my own. I can see things coming, but I never assume. I hate assuming. I am afraid to get the wrong assumption of things.

Although she’s giving me reassurance, it doesn’t make my emotion to calm. I dont know, maybe because I can feel that she is partly just telling the truth. Its not her fault, she is a very lovable person and I totally agree to that. No man can resist her beauty and charms… not even him.

She noticed my cold shoulders on her. I told her its not what she thinks, I am not angry and I dont have the right to be. Her assumption that I am staying away from her is true. I just want to be away from her at the moment. I want to prepare myself for what will happen next. I need to wear a mask again and pretend that everything is fine, although I am dying inside.

I know, I may sound bitter but I just cant contain the emotions inside. Its like im gonna burst out. I dont have someone to converse this with. I just need to get it out of my system, I just need to let this out.

Don’t make me wrong, if ever that thing will happen between them, I will be the happiest one. They are so good together. Good looks, intelligence, just about everything. I think they are perfect, complimenting each other.

One thing I’m afraid of is that I maybe blamed for her hesitation to give in to him. I had too much guilt, I hope this wont add to it.

While doing my Board Exam Reviewer I am writing this note. No matter how busy I am it still sinks in me. I hate what I feel. This is crazy, this is wrong.

My stage again is full of swaying emotions, I should study how to act out everything. My drama needs to be perfect, I need to make a standing ovation show.

For now, I’ll just make myself busy on things that I need to finish. Setting this emotions off until the time of my sleep, and I wont sleep well again…

Good vibes to everyone…

A year has already passed. Many things have changed. My life has been into a constant ups and downs. I can say that things are better for me now, after a very tragic break up with a very special friend…

People around us knew about our story, but they barely knew the details. It has been a tough road for me, but ofcourse he also had the same though I cannot speak on to his part. We have been in the controversy and we always find each other in a debateful situation, making things worse for the two of us.

Our world became smaller when we became classmates again on my third year now in College. As much as possible, I wanted to avoid it. But some things are just meant to happen, it is beyond my control. Some of my friends say it is already a sign for us to make amends, but I guess I wasnt ready for it.

The first weeks of classes were like a torture… seeing him everyday. trying to avoid him, keeping my distance, Ive been very sensitive and cautious that I feel it was already freaking crazy. Its so hard to ignore and avoid someone whom you share mutual friends with. At the end of the day, I was exhausted of keeping my distance.

Nights were the times I can weight things down and think of things. There are nights where I am thinking about him, how to deal with him in the most modest way I can, with the thought of avoiding another clash or at worst, hearing another insult from him.

One day, a common friend of ours texted me in the middle of the night. I was at work then, trying to beat the deadline because I had may backlogs that I need to finish. She is obviously not okay, she is depressed, so depressed that she ended up being contagious…

She was shrugging my conscience that night. I was always at the defense of my case. The exchange of messages became very intense to the extent that she is already touching my emotional side, which is not good because i am at my workplace so I decided to take a quick break to deal with her for once.

She has become close to this special friend of mine. And im always thankful for her for watching over him. Yes, I admit, I still am updated on what is happening to him. I cant afford not to, I still care for him, after all that has happened…

One sentence that shook me off was “How could you hurt somebody who does nothing but make you happy and love you despite of all?” I was speechless, she’s right. I hurt him so much. I didnt mean to, and I never ever wanted to. But there are things that we do to a person that is for their own good, even if we know it will hurt them, we still think of their welfare.

I suddenly burst into tears. The agonizing pain I felt the first time we broke it off all came back to me like a hauling monster. I realized that I was wrong to continually ignore the issue. I was so fond of telling myself that I am okay, that I have already moved on and let go of him but why is it that still there is something wrong?

I though that ignorance and avoidance is the way to do it. Honestly, it just made things worse for us. I already tried to make amends with him before but I guess I didn’t gave him ample amount of time to cool down his temper. We just had a non amenable conversation then and so I decided to gave up on him. It was the most stupid decision I made. Moving away from him never resolved our issues. The thought of moving on and letting go was just a cover up on my part, to cover the issue we have been into but at the back of my mind, this is still an unresolved conflict.

Dwelling in the past memories of us together is my favorite thing to do when I am alone. I always find myself smiling when I think about those happy times. Then my depressed friend asked me “It seems like you dont have regrets at all!”. This time, I answered immediately “How could you regret something that made you very happy? I didn’t regret loving him, my only regret is that it had to end this way, maybe there’s another way…”

My own statement created a spark in my mind. Ofocurse there is another way!

I have seen an opening in his heart that would be a chance for me to make up for my mistakes. I noticed when I am around with his friends, he is not making face anymore or creating annoying gestures. He is neutral when I am near him. He supports my statements with his own. I laugh at his jokes and he don’t react negatively and lastly, he accepted my invitation to work with me on writing a book for one of our major subjects.

Would I pass up this chance? I guess not. This time, I am willing to gamble and play my cards, betting everything I have just to make amends with him. This is my last attempt to make up for all the hurt and pain I have caused him. I know this wont be easy for me and for him but I will give it my best shot.

The only hope I have is that someday he will be able to understand that I have done those things for his own good, for his own sake…

Im gonna start as soon as I have the chance. Wish me the best of luck!

Good vibes everyone!

Actually, I dont even know how to start writing again. I think I need to get a hang of this stuff. I know, Its been a while. Ive been like a submarine, sinking and swimming into the open. Well, at least I havent neglected one of my favorite means of taking my feelings out… through writing.

Part 1 – Depression

These past few weeks, since the start of the school days, Ive been feeling very low, not to mention the pressures of schoolwork and the effects of having a known enemy just lurking around me, it doubles the depression. Add to the situation my demanding husband who wants to get things done in a jiffy, how worse can it get?

Here goes this feeling again, the feeling of emptiness inside. I know, I should be happy. I have so much in life. I have many friends, I have a supportive family, I have a good financial state, everything seems to go my way but why is it i feel something is lacking? Something is missing?

Part 2 – Expression

Though its not much, I have successfully celebrated my son’s birthday. Together with my friends, we had so much fun. I know Ive shown my son how much I love him.

I didnt expect that the food would fit my unexpected visitors. Well, good thing my mom prepared much more than what we are hoping for. I told her Im only bringing 3 visitors but to my surprise (ofcourse im the culprit. Hehe!) Ive brought 9 visitors.

Part 3 – Revelations

Much to my surprise, a great revelation came. Up to this moment, it still wont sink in to me. I am so shocked that it is actually happening. Oh well, we all should be happy. Its not that its all bad news, I think its a blessing in disguise. I just wish everything will be fine. I sure will miss her if ever…

Now Im sure where this depression came into. One time we were on our HRM class. My teacher asked us to find a partner for a group project. I was delirious. I know I have many friends but to my surprise, no one has asked me to be a partner for that certain project. It really broke my heart.

Yes, many people are envious of me because I can mingle with any types of people. But you know what? At the end of it all, Im still alone, no one to call my own…

One reason of this depression is my bestfriend. I know she’s been busy, but I always make sure we see each other at school. I noticed her cold treatment on me. I dont know what made her feelings towards me as cold as ice. I know, I have many shortcomings but I never expected that it would boil down to this. It saddens me so much.

Part 4 – Decisions

This feelings made me come up with a tough decision… Maybe I should go back to being alone again. Ive been happy alone before, I know I can be happy again. Myself is the only bestfriend I need. Im gonna miss my friends but I have to make decisions for myself.

I know Ive changed a lot and I need to get in touch with myself again. I know one day ill have someone of my own but before that day comes, I should know myself better.

Me and a good friend had an exchange of messages over the chatroom. She told me that Im well loved, but why is it that I dont feel it that much? She told me that at least now, my life is not revolving into one person but I told her “call me selfish but its better to seclude your world to someone and call them your own than having everyone that will never be yours”.

I just hope one day this feeling will be sartisfied but for the meantime, I need to live with this depression, oh well, everybody has their own cruxifix to carry. At least mine’s not that heavy…

Good vibes everyone!

The last few months has been filled with so much trials not only for me, but for my family as well. I know, I have been so lazy and laid back lately but later do I realize that I need to work things out, specially on our finances. Life is not getting easy on my part.

Because of the A(H1N1) virus outbreak in our community, the classes of college students were moved 15 days from what is originally set into. For me it is a benefit since it will buy me more time to clean up my closet from the clutters of the past and to patch things in the new home that we have recently moved in. Its not a big house, unlike from where we stayed in for almost 10 years. But I guess it s much better since the necessities here are complete.

I didn’t feel any excitement in going to school on the first day. Maybe because I feel a little chill because that reshuffle thing that happen to us really is a piss off, matching me with those people whom I like less, and I know they feel worse that I do to them. Glad some of them found a way to transfer to another section. What a relief!

I find it very uncomfortable to be classmates again with the person I had a big misunderstanding with for the past 2 years. I know its been along time but still I feel the tension between us. After all that has happened, I still find it naive to actually sit in a crowd with him. I tried my best to keep my distance to make me and him comfortable as possible.

Destiny for me is just a coincidence of people’s manipulation towards things and events. Maybe this is an exact example of it. Our issue is a big blast in our college so we cant avoid questions and intrigues. Many are asking what will I do if we are joined together in a group work, how do I feel about him, being in the same section again etc. etc.

I answered those questions as modestly as I could. But of course I leave something for them to ponder.

Lately, Ive been focusing more on myself. I don’t know, there’s so much love in me, and I don’t know whom or how I can show it. a David Benoit song hits me with its one-liner “WHY LOVE KEEPS ON GOING WHEN THERE’S NO ONE THERE…” the exact same question came into my head while enjoying listening to the song over and over again. A friend of mine asked me yesterday about my status with my husband. I couldn’t even explain what I feel about him. Maybe because of those pains he caused me, it made me numb to feel for him. All I know is that I still love him, but different from the love I used to feel for him before…

But whatever it is, I know, Ive made the right decision to stick with my husband no matter what. I will be true to my promise to love him til death do us part.

GOOD VIBES EVERYONE!

“To err is human”… This is one of those favorite sayings that stick on my mind for the longest time. Yes, we are humans and we are vulnerable in committing mistakes. The hardest part is, when you have made that mistake, and will never have the chance to correct it.

I have been into so much in life because of irrational mistakes that I made. Many people think that I am almost perfect, that a have a very dynamic personality, that I am strong and smart that there’s only a little room for mistakes. They may be right. But that room has created a huge impact in my whole person that it almost cripple my soul and my spirit.

One of my greatest weakness that I am aware of is my relationship conflicts. May it be friendship or romantic I always am encountering deep-seated problems from them. I don’t know why, I always am true to them and I make it a point that I give my best but still conflicts arises. I’m so vulnerable of my feelings that I sometimes mistaken it for something else, I figured it out when I analyzed the conflicts I had with my friends but still it repeat itself. It seems that I never learn from my mistakes, or it’s just the force of circumstances?

I don’t know, but whatever it is, it’s a constant reminder for me that I still have imperfections, and I will always have it.

I recently had the worst ever relationship conflict. I lost the greatest love of my life. The one I shared my life with for the past 5 years. I never thought this would happen since I’m trying my best to recuperate from a friendship that was broken by some irreconcilable issues that affected me in such a way that it has made me stupid to hope for it to amend. I regret that I have taken that person into my life. He has made horrible changes in me. I have let out again my evil self that I’m trying to hide for the longest time. I have done bad things that I never thought I could do again and I am so resentful about it.

Yes, I have planted hatred towards him. I have collected all the bad things he has done to me and turned it into a huge fireball that I will throw against him. I have thought of revenge actually. I want him to fall into his knees and regret the day that he did me wrong. I want him to pay for all the misdeeds he created. I want to see him suffer…

But all of these went off in just a snap. I thank God for showing me that vengeance is not for us to manifest, it is God who will avenge us from those who malign and hurt us. Because our revenge might be less or we might go overboard. But God’s wrath is justice. He will give justice to everyone. He is my only hope.

If I could have a second chance I will give my very best so I wont have to lose my greatest love. I should have set limits and boundaries between that ex-friend and me. But since it’s all over and done with, all I can do is to let go, move on, and move forward, making sure I’m making the correct steps this time.

“To err is human, To forgive is Divine”... I have learned to forgive those people who hurt me; even though how heavy it is for me I lifted it up to Him. I wanted to keep a clean conscience and spirit from now on. I know it’s hard to forget and as for my case, it’s almost impossible because I have a very good memory when it comes to significant events in my life. But I learned that to forgive is to forget is not true. You can forgive someone and recall his mistakes so you can be able to be aware that it can happen again, or it can happen to others.

I am not hoping for things to go back to its place. I just let God land me on where he wants me to. As for now, life must go on. My son needs me now more than anything else. I should be strong for him and I will do my best to give him the best future he deserves. We are still complete, we only lost a biological father and still were keeping a true Father, The Father in heaven, the one that wont leave us.

Ofcourse my everyday is still a struggle. It’s not easy to detach from things that you are used to. But I know God will guide me step by step and time will heal the deep wounds that I have gathered from it. You will not imagine how am I feeling right now, the pain is unexplainable. But I’m trying my best to hide it from the world and just open it up to God.

I hope and pray that I can have that second chance to correct the mistakes that I have done but if not, THY WILL BE DONE…

Good Vibes!

“This week has also been rather difficult for me emotionally. I had to let go of a long-term relationship, a friendship, which at one time brought much joy and happiness into my life, but sadly has turned sour over the past several months. People can be like plants, in odd ways, and if a relationship is not watered or nurtured, it too can suffer from thirst, its leaves can turn from a bright green to a muted brown, and, like the colorless leaves on the once healthy plant, it too will eventually die.

Sometimes we must let go of people, places and things, even though we still care about them so much, or harbor good memories, or at worse, we are so much in love with them. if it turns out that they will provide an unhealthy or toxic element inside of our own lives. Staying free of such compulsions is not easy, and often, the pain of walking away can be very sharp, and pierce a deep wound open inside of one’s own heart. Letting go involves surrendering, for our own good, and ultimate peace of mind. Often, we must let go as well to honor and respect the needs of the other person, even if their goals are quite different from our own.

Today, in the middle of all the business involved in my life, I too am trying to walk through the pain of letting go of a friendship that was not healthy for me. I see him everyday and I try to act and live normally around him. This does not mean that I do not feel sad, nor I don’t have any feelings anymore for this person. I still love and I truly miss this person, but sometimes we have to let go to grow, even with the pain and hurt, so we can get to the other side of the rainbow, with the hope that there is still light inside.

Ofcourse, I do hope that someday, our paths will cross again and when that time comes, we’ll see if were really meant to be. I still believe in us.

Thank you for your minds.”

he will always have a special place in my heart, forever...

Seems like I’ve been so busy lately that I neglected my blog. There has been so much that happened to me since the last time i posted. But despite that, I dont feel the urge to write them down. I feel like its not necessary.

While playing my favorite mini match on powerpets and listening to my imeem playlist, One thing came to my mind… I remembered, it soon would be five years…

I can still remember the first time I saw him face to face. I never felt a strong connection with anyone before, but with him, its different. His handsome face was just an addition to his great personality. He was the most thoughtful person for me, and until now he still is.

I never believed in love at first sight because I already fell in love with him eventhough I never saw him yet. Thru the simple text messages he sent to me everyday make me fall hard. It may sound so cheap that I fell in love thru text messaging but I guess if it is, maybe I am.

The first time we met was very magical. Now I know what they meant when they said that “I heard the bells ringing” because literally, I did. Something in me tells me right then and there that he is the one. But ofcourse I dont trust my intuitions that much. We ended up good friends and before I knew it, he became my first boyfriend.

Now I know how it feels to have a romantic partner. Everyday I felt so high over him like theres no one else in the world but us. We had the best times together. He visits me everyday at our house after his work and we eat outside.

I didnt have any shyness of showing my true self to him. I eat the way I eat, I dress the way I dress, I talk the way I talk and I don’t pretend to be something I am not. He said that’s what he liked about me… a very genuine person. I became very open to him about everything in my life and he did to. He became my best-est best friend.

Soon after I realized that there’s no perfect relationship. Now I saw the complications we are having. His sister hates me. It was prohibited for me to have an intimate relationship with anyone and many more restrictions comes our way. There even came a time that we even fought over those dis-tractorsI even felt that its useless to fight for him. In short, I even thought about giving up the fight.

I dont know but I think fate has its way for us. Just when I came up to the idea of breaking up with him, something just happened that made us realize that we are really meant for each other and soon after that, he asked me to marry him.

I was speechless. I cant believe that this is actually happening. I have dreamed and prayed for someone like him to come my way and now he is offering a string to bond him to me. Honestly this is too good to be true but it isnt. It is really happening and there is no other answer that comes to my head but a big “YES”.

We had a simple civil wedding. We are not the type that would spend much just to brag about our new civil status. But before the civil wedding we already had a mass church wedding 3 years before the civil one. I was pregnant with our first child when he married me civilly. Actually its just for formality.

Those 3 years were full of adjustments. But still even if we quarrel even to the minutest details we managed to survive. I just wonder why am I not bearing a child in those 3 years but I guess I should just wait. Just when I gave up hoping, I was already pregnant.

I had the worst pregnancy. I have to inject insullin twice a day just to make the baby inside me live. I even had complications for the last minute but I managed to survive and deliver a very healthy baby boy last June 26, 2006. I am happy though I had a difficult pregnancy because I dont feel alone in my pregnancy… we are both pregnant.

Im not surprised that our child resembles my husband so much. The time when I was conceiving I would caught myself staring at him while sleeping and I adore his face so much then. Until now I still do.

Many things happened after that. We even had a hard shook on our relationship but still we are alive and surviving and on February 13th 2008, it will be our 5 year anniversary. Yeah, time flies while we are having fun.

Right how everything is perfect. I am perfectly in love with an imperfect man that loves me the same and learned to love my imperfections and weaknesses along the way. As Glenn Medeiros and Elsa said “Love always finds a reason… seems like I could just look at you and I found the reason in your eyes”.

I hope we could stay in love and in faith for the rest of our lives, and a baby girl on our 10th anniversary! (I hope)

“Love isnt about what you will get from it,

its about giving what you can give for it”

Last November 2, 2007 I rushed my 1 year and 4 months old only son at the nearest hospital, which happens to be the Ospital ng Makati in Comembo. He has been vomiting for about 5-6 times already that evening. We are afraid that he will be dehydrated or maybe he has dengue or something fatal.

Right then it took less than an hour before we got a spot at the ER Pedia. The doctor asked us what happened to my son and we told them all the details. To my surprise they didn’t even put my son on IV Fluid, which is the first thing to do for patients like my son so they wont get dehydrated. My mother told the doctor to put my son on IV Fluid but the doctor just said “Kami po ang nakakaalam kung kailan dapat iswero ang bata”. I am not a doctor, though I am pursuing a degree on it. I have read lot of articles about health and medicine and I also talked to a lot of pediatricians. Whenever the child vomits a lot of times, he should be put on IV fluid to prevent dehydration. My son’s mouth is dry. When he cries, only few tears get out from his eyes.

One day has passed and they did nothing to my son. They just ask us to give him glucolyte. Maybe they didn’t get it; my son is throwing up everything that is put inside his mouth so that glucolyte is like the doctors in the Ospital ng Makati… useless.

That afternoon they wanted to discharge my son. My mom got angry because my son’s condition is getting worse and they will tell us to go home. My mom refuses to go home because she wanted my son to be admitted to the hospital. They just gave us a prescription medicine and then they sent us home and said that if ever he throws up again, we just bring him back to the hospital.

At home, my son is already very weak. We tried to give him the medicine that the doctor prescribed but he just throws it up. We decided to take him back to the hospital.

When we arrive at the hospital, we immediately go to the doctor at the pedia and told them that my son is still throwing up and now he is very weak. They just made phone calls if there are vacant rooms for my son so they can admit him. After hours of waiting they told me no room is available. We said we will pay in full and will not use the yellow card. Right then they had the determination to get us a room. My mom called Dra. De Ocampo and she told us “Baka naman gamitin nyo ang yellow card ninyo?” my mom said, just for my grandson to get well, we wont use it.

After patiently waiting again they told us there’s still no room available. My son is now very very weak. He is just sleeping and would not move even if I tried to wake him up. This is very alarming so we decided to rush him in a private hospital where he will be taken cared of properly.

Right now, my son is okay. Still under medication but now he is active and playful again. I don’t regret paying almost P8,000 for his 2 days hospitalization. The important thing is that he is okay.

Last year I also had the same experience when I was pregnant with him. The OB Emergency Room doctors are very hot headed. They shouted and treated the patients very inhumanly. They told me I can give birth there but they are not sure about where to put my son because there’s no incubator available. Nice answer for a doctor who is not using her head.

I thought it was only the OB ER who has a problem. But when I was rushed there because of my carbuncle on my legs, I got the same treatment at the Main Emergency Room. And now my son is the new victim of the Pedia ER of this inhuman hospital.

Yellow Card is useless. No one in my family has ever experienced being treated well in this hospital and no one had been admitted. I enjoyed a lot of privilege here in Makati. I am a Makati Scholar ever since and I am thankful for that.

My concern is those people who soon will be victims of this hospital. How about those people who really cant afford to pay for a private hospital? Will they just wait for their deaths?

One thing I noticed is that the Emergency Room is always jam-packed with patients. I thought the reason is because many are rushed in this hospital. But after observing for a day I came up with the best conclusion ever. “Patients are coming to the hospital in almost an hourly interval. There is even a 2-hour interval that no patient arrived in the Emergency Room. The reason they got plenty of patients inside is because THEY DONT TREAT THE PATIENTS AS SOON AS THEY ARRIVE. THEY JUST MAKE THEM WAIT AND WAIT WHILE THEY ARE JUST IN THEIR SEATS CHATTING ABOUT THEIR USELESS LIVES AND BORING STORIES. If they are just attending to the patients right away, the ER wont be crowded at all. Just like what they do at the Makati Medical Center. ”

That night a child was rushed there in the ER. Her forehead has a big and deep cut and is bleeding much. The mother was crying. But still they just looked at the child and walked passed her without giving her first aid. They wanted to make the mother fill up first the ER Chart and will wait for her daughter to get treated. They were attended after more than an hour and its already morning when I saw them get out of the hospital. The mother just carries the child in her lap for the whole night. That’s a very wicked way to treat a patient.

I guess the doctors here lost their human feelings. They don’t feel any remorse about what they are doing.

Maybe the acronym OsMak is wrong. I think this should be changed to OsKam meaning OSPITAL NG KAMATAYAN because there’s a great chance that they will let you die there without doing anything.

They should have told us beforehand that they couldn’t accommodate us so we just find a good hospital for my son.

I hope Mayor Binay knows about what’s going on inside this hospital. This Ospital ng Makati will stain the Makati’s good image.

To the Ospital ng Makati Director, if ever you get the chance to read this, I am sorry not to talk to you personally because I know it will also be useless. The last time we talked, nothing has changed to the hospital that you are working for.

I wish the yellow card privilege could be used again in Makati Medical Center. If so, I would never step on OsMak again.

If you get a chance to read this, and you have been a victim, or have know anyone who had been treated badly by this hospital, please email me at sweetchelly@yahoo.com. We are forming a group of people that will unite to file a formal complaint about this hospital. Thank you and I hope we can put an end to this hospitals malpractice.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Michelle M. Viray

October 30, 2007 – supposed to be this is the time that we will get our report of grades. i came to school at 8am. I was so shocked to see a huge line inside building 3. I knew it, its the line for claiming the report of grades!

I was so pissed off when I saw it. I knew I should have went early on but I was so tazy to get off my comfy bed. And so it goes, I suffered the consequence of my being lazy. Having to endure 6 hours of annoying pain of standing up in line just to get my grades.

After that I cant take it no more. Me and my best buds decided to just go to school tomorrow at a much earlier time. We set it at 5am.

October 31, 2007 – I woke up at 4am. I didnt have any difficulties in waking up now because of what I have experienced from yesterdays line. I get myself ready to go to school but when i looked outside its still dark so I said I will just wait a while for the darkness to subside. At 5:30am, the sky set to blue so I decided to go on.

When I came to the school there is already a line of around a hundred people. My best bud Marylyn waived near the admin building so I went to her and fall in line with her. Good thing she arrived earlier or else we’ll endure another long line again.

After sometime, Aivan and Kathleen came to the scene. Emelyn also sit in between us.

Because we still have to wait for the time for the Registrars’ Office to open up, we chatted our way to kill boredom and we are successful.

I didnt even notice time passing by because we are really having fun with chatting. At around past 9am I already got my grades and heres the result:

I am so happy when I received my grades. Though my LTS Professor still doesnt encode our grades, I am sure I got a high grade from him. I cant believe I got a GWA (General Weighted Average) of 1.52!

I hope I could be a Dean’s Lister so I wont have to pay for my enrollment fees!

Congratulations to me!

I was shocked when I heard the news yesterday about the explosion that happened in Glorietta 2 at around noon.

My initial reaction, I felt so worried. Because I know that many of my schoolmates are roaming around the malls near the campus, and Glorietta is one of the hot spots. I even took time to watch the flash report on tv to be sure if there are any casualties whom i know. I even got late for my class that afternoon.

Since yesterday Ive been keeping many questions to myself about this incident. Why are they doing this? Why the innocent people? Why hurt others? Whats so beneficial about destruction?

When I found out that the exact location of the destroyed part of the mall, I exclaimed to myself… OH MY GOSH! ITS IN THE BABY SECTION OF THE MALL! When I take my son for a stroll at Glorietta I usually pay visit to this stores since I am looking for some things that might be needed by my son or sale toys and clothes. I felt a chill in my body. There is a great chance that there are kids in the casualties who were injured or at worse, even died in the incident…

I am a mother, a very loving mother. And to know that there might be children and mothers there who died in the incident made the feelings worse. This means that there will be motherless child and childless mothers made by this catastrophe.

I really cant believe that there are people who can do this extreme harm and destruction to other people. The bible is really true when it said that people will become more and more sinners in the last days. Is there no conscience left for those terrorist to take lives of those poor innocent people?

Why dont they just throw a bomb over at the Malacañang Palace if they are angry with the Government? or just assassin those whom they want to take revenge to? This is really unfair for those people who doesnt sin against them. Thats really inhuman. They are more of an animal, much worse so to speak.

I am extending my greatest sympathy and condolences for those who have lost a loved one in this tragic incident. Dont worry, God is always looking at us and he knows best what to do with those animalistic terrorist. Let vengeance be God’s and not ours…